UNPLUGGED…ISH

This week I did something I have not done since my wedding/honeymoon: I went on vacation without my phone.

I have always struggled with shutting off. Pre-technology, it was simply a struggle to shut my brain off. Once cell phones, then blackberries and tablets came into play, well…I really had a hard time.

I’ve taken calls from advertisers while at the Acropolis, gotten into a heated email exchange while at my daughter’s soccer game, listened to a psychometric report on a prospective hire while on the beach in Jamaica and participated in daily conference calls while at Disney World.

While I may have felt pressure or guilt at times to keep my phone on, the truth is, I did it more for myself than anyone else because deep down I enjoyed it. I felt important, needed.

Of course, I also liked to feel connected to friends and family, to be able to see at any given time what else was going on in the world.

Over time, I began to have a Pavlovian reaction to the red flashing light on my blackberry, to the ding of a text coming in. Apart from my car and my credit card, it became the most important tool in my life. It was my alarm clock, my watch, my means of communication, my news agent, my camera, etc…you get it.

My addiction was so strong that I knew the only way to disconnect even a little was to leave my phone at home. Oh no…I didn’t go cold turkey. I still had my iPad to send occasional emails and check in with friends via Messenger. And, to write my blog.

But, this was the most unplugged I have been in years. And you know what? I loved it.

Without a phone, I had no idea what time it was most of the time – leaving me to simply enjoy things as they happened rather than planning away or breaking the day down into units of time. Also, with little time spent communicating with the outside world, I found my mind so much calmer.

Ok, you could say that not having work demands at the moment helps. And it did. But I have always found things to occupy my mind other than work… other people, past events, future to-dos, mistakes I’ve made, plans to concoct, etc.

But somehow, without my phone to look at every 5 minutes, I started to focus on what was right in front of me. I would go for walks on the beach, iPod in hand and be completely taken away by the lyrics, the music and the scenery.

I noticed things I’ve never taken the time to look at before. I saw the way the water made grooves in the sand, I saw a lone orange butterfly in a landscape of blue sky and green trees, I noticed the way the sand looked like it had gold flecks in it, and I saw pure joy in a girl’s face as she ran into the ocean.

Some days, I would get so caught up in the moment that I would let go completely. I would find myself dancing on the beach, not sure when I started or who had seen me. To be honest, I didn’t care. I felt a sense of freedom I have not felt in a long time.

Of course, that sense of freedom went away at meal times. But I still felt it. And that matters.

That’s progress I thought to myself as I saw my girls running toward me on the beach, limbs flailing and smiling from ear to ear.

That’s happiness…That’s living…That’s me.