STEREOTYPES

“You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.”

It is 9 pm. I am sitting on a gurney in the emergency room of a random hospital in London. After weeks of following a vicious cycle of starving for days followed by bingeing for days, I fainted in the produce aisle of the grocery store while on my way home from work. My diet for the day has consisted of rice cakes and Diet Coke. The last thing I remember before waking up and being put in an ambulance was lettuce and broccoli spinning around me.

I’m scared – I have no family in London, I have to go to an air show in 2 days – but I’m also hopeful. I’m in a hospital, finally a medical expert can help me with my eating. I’m saved!

In walks the doctor and I tell him I am sick, I need help. He looks at me, surprised, and tells me I don’t look sick.

Great! I think to myself. Not only has my anorexia morphed into bulimia and taken over my life but now I’m fat? A bona fide doctor is telling me that I am failing at having an eating disorder.

Years later, I can laugh at the absurdity of the comment and forgive said MD for his ignorance. Sort of…

As a medical professional, he should have known better. But, in the end, he was a human being who bought into the widespread stereotype that eating disorder equals skeletal, that everyone with an eating disorder wants to look like a supermodel.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.

A person affected by disordered eating can be any age, gender, religion, race, and body type – making it all the more difficult to spot. The root causes, triggers and motivations vary from person to person. The treatment and journey to recovery varies as well. And, to complicate matters, the disorder morphs and changes with time, leaving you and others around you bewildered.

For example, some days, pizza is ok. Others, it is strictly forbidden. Or it is ok but only with minimal cheese, thin crust, no oil, etc…I don’t know why it changes, I don’t know when it changes but it does. And, sadly, no memo goes out to the people around me to let them know something is back on the forbidden list.

You might be thinking to yourself, how on earth do I know if someone close to me has issues with eating? How do I know if I have an issue?

There are no steadfast rules but here are some signs that there may be disordered eating going on:

• Feeling like you cannot eat until a certain time in the day;
• Feeling like you have to “earn” the right to eat;
• Having a long list of items you don’t eat…seeing the list grow longer;
• Exercising to compensate for what you eat – quantity and type of food;
• Having snacks like bagels or cereal as a meal – this one was the biggest eye opener for me. Cereal is NOT dinner? What? You’re lying, just ask Jerry Seinfeld;
• Drinking a lot of water, tea, coffee, carbonated beverages to feel full;
• Chewing gum…a lot of gum…to control hunger;
• Skipping meals, letting calorie content drive what you order in a restaurant instead of ordering what you actually feel like eating; and so on.

The signs of an eating disorder, the strength of the illness, the amount of pain someone is in go far beyond how much they weigh or how they look. Whether you are a doctor, know someone who may have an eating disorder or are affected by one yourself, remember this fact because having an eating disorder is hard enough without having to “look” the part.