Life Is a Highway

Today, I am putting aside eating, weight and self-help issues. Don’t worry, we’ll come back to these soon enough. Right now, I have road trips on my mind.

I come from a long line of non-drivers (or late bloomers with regards to getting a license). We never had a car growing up, so apart from a few drives with my aunt and uncle from Toronto to Montreal, our vacations away always involved airplanes (Florida, Europe) – and I’m not complaining.  But I never really identified with the National Lampoon family vacations.

My first real road trip was in my late 20s – driving (not me.  Thank you Jacksons!) from London, to Manchester, then Newcastle and Edinburgh. Not a bad way to start…the views…the pubs!!

Over the years, I developed a newfound love of car trips. As the eternal passenger, I could do anything: enjoy the view, sing at the top of my lungs, snack, read, sleep. Nirvana! And we took some incredible trips driving to the Grand Canyon, New York, around Arizona and, ok Tymchuks, even Wildwood.

And then along came Zoe. My wonderful and magical baby girl – who rejected all naps and detested long car rides. New parents determined to show that a baby hadn’t changed us, we took to the open road with our four-month-old in search of adventures in Washington. I remember screaming, crying, frequent stops for feedings and even a few masterful car seat changes while Charles was driving (don’t tell social services). Oh, did I forget to mention? Princess didn’t like having a wet diaper. So I spent most of the drive in the back seat beside her, jiggling toys and reading Hello Monkey non stop. Six years later and I can still recite that book. The time in Washington made the trip worth it – love that city! But, for weeks after we got back home, I wouldn’t take Zoe in the car for more than 15 minutes. Call it post traumatic road trip syndrome.

She got better with age, but up until a year ago, boredom always kicked in eventually and the last 2 hours of any leg were always brutal.

When Lily popped into the picture, I hoped they would entertain each other. But despite having very different personalities – Lily the entertainer versus Zoe the lawyer – both girls have the exact same car aversion. Lily added a new quirk to the mix. She has a strong sense of touch and needed my physical presence to reassure her. She would scream if she could not touch me in some way. So, I’ll admit to having ridden for hours holding the only body part I could reach from the front seat: her foot!

Both girls like variety and like to move so long car or plane rides are a challenge. To ease things, we’ve developed a few tricks:

• Snacks…lots of snacks. We let them pack their own but I always have a full arsenal to back up their selections.
• Surprises…Before any trip, we go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little blind bags, activity books, etc. The idea is to have enough for every hour of the trip so that they are frequently stimulated. The only problem is that Lily wants to open them all in the first hour and then starts eyeing Zoe’s. Thankfully, my little hoarder Zoe is usually willing to give some to her sister.
• Silly! I pretty much leave any rules and formality at home and pull out anything in my tickle trunk to entertain them. Funny faces, bad jokes, dancing… you name it, I’ve probably done it.

It doesn’t always work. And, I usually need a massage by the end of the trip due to all the back and forth between the front and back seats. You can usually gauge how the trip went by the size of my wine glass when we arrive at our destination.

This weekend we are heading to Boston. The girls packed their bags a week ago and are super excited. In truth, I am too. I love Boston – the people, the mix of new and old, the vibe, the activities and even the restaurants.

Ok girls, your caterer/entertainer/activities coordinator/ mediator/kindergarten teacher/mommy is ready. Let’s do this!

Um Charles? Are we there yet?