ME TOO

Unless you have been on a deserted island for the past few weeks, I’m sure you have seen the Harvey Weinstein case unfold – bringing about a larger-scale discussion about sexual harassment in Hollywood, the world of entertainment and far beyond.

Disgusted, angry, sad, and ashamed of my own experience, I debated about sharing my thoughts on the topic – out of fear of retribution from the only organization I’ve ever worked for. But why shouldn’t I? Apart from the harassers themselves, no one should be censoring themselves. Still, so many women and men stay silent.

We don’t say anything because we don’t want to risk our jobs; we don’t want to cause trouble; we tell ourselves that it is not worth reporting – either because the harassment wasn’t “serious” enough or because we don’t think it will change anything; we don’t want every comment we make after speaking up to be classified as getting up on our soap box again; we don’t want to be excluded from meetings or events; we don’t want to be tainted with THAT brush – painted as the one who cannot take a joke or who is too sensitive; we blame ourselves; we think that unless someone puts their hands on you, it wasn’t really wrong.

I almost made it a personal and professional crusade to address the issue of sexual harassment and sexual culture in the workplace. I spoke up for others, and then, for myself. And, while efforts were made to listen, I never really felt heard. I was told that the behaviours highlighted were unique to one area of the organization and that I was generalizing, making the issue seem more widespread than it was. And while I strongly believe I was not, the question I have is:

“Wasn’t it worth checking?”

Like, really checking? With actual data, across the entire organization? Didn’t we owe it to ourselves to make sure I was wrong? So that no future harassment was on our collective conscience?

I get it, this is an uncomfortable topic. Men and women alike don’t know how to tackle it, how to respond to it if they are on the receiving end, or even what to do if they witness it. It is a mountain and most people, HR professionals and organizational leaders simply don’t know how to get their arms around the problem. I certainly didn’t. But that does not mean we should not try.

Because here is the thing people sometimes ignore. At the root of sexual harassment lies a bigger issue, a lack of respect. No victim of sexual harassment can say they felt respected in the moment – victimized, ashamed, dirty, embarrassed, angry, hurt, numb…yes…but not respected. Diversity seems à la mode these days among many organizations. A nice buzz word that makes many pat themselves on the back for being good corporate citizens. But, you cannot create a truly diverse work environment if disrespectful behaviour such as sexual harassment is tolerated – especially when it is largely targeted toward one gender. Organizations cannot attract and retain female talent if there is an undercurrent of sexual harassment.

Embracing diversity in the workplace does not involve groping the person as you do it! Of course, there are many elements to attracting talented individuals of all genders, races, religions… The foundation is creating an environment of mutual respect.

I wish I had a solution to propose. Or, at the very least, was in a position right now to leverage the awakening that seems to be happening in certain industries to influence change much closer to home. But I have other dragons to slay. Gimme a few months and then I’ll be all over it…though I feel we have a small window of opportunity NOW.

All I can do is encourage each of you to speak up, speak out, and be catalysts for change. If you are a manager, executive, leader, HR professional, use the current public outcry to broach the topic at work, to listen to employees and really see an issue exists. I have been reading a lot about fault versus responsibility and I think one of the lessons I learned applies here. It may not be a leader or an HR professional’s fault that sexual harassment exists in his/her work place. The point is, the very nature of their job or their title makes it their responsibility to fix it.

This is the OTHER bottom line.

– For Zoe and Lily, for whom I hope the world will change. –